Doubts by Alexandra Pavlovicova

She almost screamed out her voice...

Yet that voice sounded in her head. Over and over again.

That voice that everyone knows well, even if they want it to be estranged

Would want to send it away,

especially in times of distress, when it awakes her

When she needs love and warmth,

as when she‘s laughing for the taste of it.

But instead she feels like she‘s almost not here anymore,

losing herself to herself,

finding herself in a fog,

can‘t even see her hands.

Hands with something to embrace,

as they’re pushing through the fog,

searching for home.

But without a key, it‘s hard to get in.

And so she rummages impatiently in her thoughts,

until there it is, the key

right there - in the inhale and exhale,

in the silence,

as she caresses herself tenderly...

When she forgives herself for closing her eyes from herself, which is

enough.