Waiting for Brexit: Tragicomedy in Two Acts

A distant Kingdom. A Parliament.
Evening.

Theresa, standing up from her chair, trying to convince the House. She starts screaming at the opposition, her voice cracking. She gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again.

As Before.
Enter Jeremy.

Theresa: (giving up again) Nothing to be done.
Jeremy: I’m beginning to come round to that opinion.

Act 1: Tragedy

Do you think Shakespeare would vote to leave or stay? Somehow I just can’t really see him as a leaver. He couldn’t have, he was a product of the European renaissance. I wonder what he would think of his hometown: Statford-upon-Avon that voted for Brexit, exactly mirroring the national tally with 52% voting to leave and 48% voting to stay. Naturally, we will never know how Shakespeare would have voted but we can surely find elements of his tragedies in Brexit.

Brexit has never been about the EU. Sold as a fantasy of national liberation, Brexit was a result of the decades of austerity, misinformation and Britain’s inability to come to terms with its past. It would be a lunacy to think the referendum would solve any of these issues. The fantasia of Brexit was dead from the very start, it could never survive the contact with reality. British politicians never knew what they wanted from Brexit or how they are going to get it. Paradoxically, the British public now received two years of constant media coverage on Brexit. Standing on the verge of leaving, with millions marching in the streets and signing online petitions to hold a second referendum, the UK might be the best informed and most excited about the EU that it has ever been.

Act 2: Comedy

Q: What is the difference between Fyre festival and Brexit?
A: One was an island fantasy where people just made up stuff they had no ability to deliver. The other one was Fyre festival.

Brexit also brought us a lot of quality entertainment. It would be incorrect to see it just as a tragedy. If you weren’t BOB (Bored of Brexit) already, you could find some of these quite funny.

“Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell” (Matt Abott)

“How many Brexiteers does it take to change a lightbulb? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never said there was a lightbulb” (Anon)

“I don’t think we should have voted. I can barely rate a movie on Netflix, don’t leave big decisions in my hands. Brexit is a terrible name for it, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” (Tiff Stevenson)

Welcome to the tragicomedy of Brexit. Beckett would be proud. If you haven’t had enough, don’t despair. Yesterday, the UK and the EU agreed to delay Brexit until 31 October. The waiting for Brexit continues.

Theresa: Well, shall we leave?
Jeremy: Yes, let’s leave.
They do not leave.